self-care

Sheltered-in-Place: A Year at Home

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How do you celebrate the anniversary of sheltering-in-place?

What moments stand out in your memory when you think back to a year ago, when cities – even whole states – suddenly shut down?

For us, it began the 12th of March. I remember standing in the kitchen, not feeling well, expressing my doubts about whether or not I was feeling up for seeing the show for which we had got discounted tickets that evening. It was The Inheritance, part 1 (we had tickets to part 2 on Saturday). My husband texted me back – “No theatre tonight.” I replied, well, I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to wait to make a decision in case I started to feel better.

But he replied no, that it wasn’t up to us. There was no theatre that night. Or for the next few… weeks? Months? We didn’t know.

Times Square, Spring 2020

But I had tickets for us to see both parts of The Inheritance, as well as excellent mezzanine tickets to Six, which was to be opening that night (we planned to see it the following Tuesday). And suddenly, those plans were gone.

I had yoga teacher training sessions that weekend, and we all discussed what would happen if the studio had to shut down. “It will only be a few weeks.” “It’s just like the flu – we shouldn’t worry.” What did we know?

It was the last time I’d use public transportation for almost a year. I started working from home the middle of that week – it was a slow period for my job in events for an education non-profit (little did I know just how slow it would be) – but we didn’t expect that we’d be told to continue working from home, or how long it would take.

It would be months before I went back to my office to get anything I left behind.

I would occasionally get help from some of our smaller, furrier coworkers (lots of treats!)

But, that first week, before the shut-down mandate, two things happened.

Firstly, my husband celebrated his 39th birthday, and our plans to gather with friends were cancelled as we began to grapple with the reality of what might be happening to our city.

Secondly, once the news hit that NYC would be entering a shutdown, I recorded and broadcast my first guided meditation.

(You can watch it here)

This week, both of those things come full circle, and I get to step back and consider where I am – where we are – in this moment in time.

I remember writing “Happy Birthday, Sam!!!” on the blackboard wall we painted in our kitchen. I was so excited for everything we’d planned – for his birthday, then, and for the rest of the year. Travel, celebrations, performances, family.

I left those words on the wall of our kitchen for an entire year. At first, I did it because I was sure the celebration was just on pause, and we’d be gathering with friends and picking up where we left off, soon enough.

But soon, it was clear that we wouldn’t be “in the clear” for months, at least. So I left it as a reminder for us to look forward to coming through to the other side of the pandemic. There would be things to look forward to!

But also, I left it there to remind me of what I had, and what I was lucky and privileged to have. Someone with whom to share this experience.

This is an image I shared soon after the decision to shut down NYC – I saw a lot of panic and frustration and anxiety… and probably felt all of those things, too, myself. I scribbled it quickly on a sheet in my journal and took a picture. And then, on the 20th of March, I put out a guided meditation… a meditation that I would end up sharing now every Friday evening as part of a regular guided meditation session I’ve been leading since this past December. (The Loving-Kindness meditation, which I wrote about here!)

There have been ups and downs, but this Friday I get to lead that same meditation again, and yesterday we celebrated my husband’s 40th birthday – family members calling in on our new Alexa devices – and I gave him a damp rag and let him wipe the blackboard clean.

Time to look forward to what’s next. Spring, and the Equinox, are arriving at such a perfect time.

Daffodils last week in Morningside Park

And now, the important questions…

How have you been this past year? Have you found ways that helped you cope during the pandemic? What has helped you? I’d love to hear about it!

Also, click here to join me for my ongoing guided meditations!

I have quite a few photos of the past year, and might dedicate another post just to some of the things I discovered while working from home during the pandemic! Stay tuned!

What the World Needs Now… is Loving-Kindness

/ wilderlivingnyc / 2 Comments

I’ve recently begun leading group meditations.

It began after a weekend meditation module of my 300 hour yoga teacher training recently, at Sonic Yoga, when I was offered the opportunity to lead the class in meditation. I chose one of my favorites, a variation of the Buddhist “Metta” or “Loving-Kindness” meditation, as it had been taught to me by Lauren Hanna.

My teacher, Sarah Ireland, encouraged me to continue this practice, and share this with more people. We agreed it was so important right now.

With people going back to periods of isolation, a time of shutting down and shutting in during a time when most families want to be together – a time when, statistically, people already struggle emotionally – a meditation of compassion would be so important. And I’d shared it before, during a similar time.

When NYC first announced that it would be shutting everything down, back in March… back when people were beginning to be sent home to work remotely, businesses, gyms, restaurants, all were closing, I shared this exact message in a video I sent to YouTube.

The variation I learned starts out like this:

May I be filled with Loving-Kindness.       
May I be Well.       
May I be Peaceful, and at Ease.       
May I be Happy.

Other iterations are shorter. Pema Chödrön , in Comfortable with Uncertainty, and The Places That Scare You, puts it simply:

"May I enjoy happiness and the root of all happiness."

Repeating this phrase, or these phrases, over and over, you bring that feeling of comfort into your self, showing yourself compassion, wishing yourself well. It’s often a very difficult practice on its own, but it doesn’t stop there.

Once you feel saturated with loving-kindness, it’s time to turn that feeling outward. This outward focus is exactly why I felt the meditation was so useful for these uncertain times. The mantra (as it was taught me) then becomes as follows:

May you be filled with loving-kindness.
May you be well.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be happy.

Pema Chödrön  similarly replaces the “I” of the phrase with “you,” or with the name of a specific person… because there’s a process!!

  1. Direct the meditation toward yourself
  2. Direct the meditation toward a loved one
  3. Direct the meditation toward friends and/or acquaintances
  4. Direct the meditation toward strangers, or people to whom you feel indifferent
  5. Direct the meditation toward someone with whom you are in conflict
  6. Direct the meditation to all of the above
  7. Direct the meditation out to “All Beings”

It sounds like a long process, and it can be, especially when often you feel you can’t get past #1. And that’s 100% okay. There is no rule that says you need to feel so full of loving-kindness all the time that you can always send it out to other people. We must take care of ourselves, first and foremost.

Which brings me back to why I feel it is so important for this time.

We need to show this loving-kindness to our Self. I capitalize Self because I equate it with the Soul – the spark of the divine in each of us (spoiler: it’s the same spark… but that’s for another post). We need to be able to show love and comfort to our Self, and allow our Self to be happy.

And then we need to share that message – to practice empathy. To understand how we’re all connected.

Like the song says, “What the World needs now is Love, sweet Love.”

I think I know what she means.

To you who are reading this right now,

May you be filled with loving-kindness.
May you be well.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be happy.

If you’d like to be receive weekly emails with my group meditation info, vist the “Contact” page on this site, and drop me a line with your address!